"Revelation brings a Crisis"

I have now been in Kona, Hawaii for three weeks and have gone through so much transformation! Yes I have completed a discipleship training school and staffed one last year but I am beginning to understand when our staff trainer Jeremy West says “be a disciple first always”. A discipleship training school (DTS) is something you can graduate from, but you never graduate from being a disciple. The past few weeks have been some of the hardest times in my short Christian walk, but it has been my choice to continue to engage myself with the heart of God that has changed me. In plain words I can't rely on my own experiential knowledge but to always be teachable and pliable by God.

During staff training the past two weeks the one quote that has been stuck in my head has been “revelation brings a crisis”. The idea is that when there is true revelation from God there should be some kind of crisis that provokes me to seek or desire a change. This should then hopefully bring me to seek Jesus Christ for the grace that I need to walk in it. It’s really the same as “revelation requires a response” but I never thought about the fact that when I start feeling like I’m having some kind of life crisis that it could actually be God’s love. In no way am I saying that God kills people to teach us or that he makes us suffer so that we realize we need Him. I’m saying that there might be heart issues or mindsets that we have and when we are pursuing God His light actually shines on us revealing the hidden things.

I had one especially hard week where I felt like all of my junk was rising to the surface. This was where I had to consider the fact that maybe God wants to do a work in my life. One day I felt so rebellious and didn’t want to do anything during worship or focus on God. I didn’t want to open my mouth or do anything. Later that day one of the other staff asked me how I was doing and I simply responded “bad”. She didn’t try to do anything other than simply pray for me and it was so encouraging! I know that God doesn’t want us to walk these things out by ourselves and that he desires for us to have loving friendships that can simply pray for each other and see breakthrough.

I have simply experienced a passion for Jesus and a constant choice to engage Gods heart, no matter how I feel. I have had to press through some of the driest days where I don’t “feel His presence” and had to just trust that He was with me. This is so necessary in a place where ministry is 24/7 and I usually don’t “feel” like I can minister to others. I have to hold on to the truth that it’s worth it! When God is glorified through other people finding out who they are in Him than we continue to see more and more of who He is!

18 more days until over 100 students come to have their lives radically changed!!!